By Rick Fullerton, Ph.D.

Back in 1997, at the Canadian Centre for Management Development and in the early days of La Relève, Rick played an important part in the development of coaching as a leadership competency. I really enjoyed working with him and I welcome his contribution to Coaching Connection.

Paul Lefebvre - Coaching Connection

For the last 10 years, I have been exploring what it means to be a coach. For me, the most important and often most overlooked element of being a coach is to listen. Let me see if I can make this clear.

In my experience, most people that request 'coaching' start out expecting to be 'told' what to do. Is this not what a sports coach does? Most of us have learned that help often comes in the form of advice, suggestions, expertise, or experience shared by others. And, indeed, these approaches may be useful - if what we are trying to do is fix something or solve a particular problem. In reality though, most problems have to do with people, and few people want to be fixed. So we end up with a conundrum - people asking for what will not satisfy their request.

Fortunately, the kind of coaching described here, and in other parts of this web site, offers another approach - an approach most useful to those seeking significant change. When I begin such a coaching relationship with a person, I make it clear early on that my prime role is to be a committed listener. Let's look at what this really means.

First, this immediately shifts the focus away from the coachee as a passive recipient to being a fully engaged, fully responsible actor-speaker. Right from the outset, this sets the stage for the person being coached to be in the driver's seat, making the choices that he or she will implement. This also means that there is little or no resistance - since the coachee is not being pressured by anyone else to change.

The second aspect I would flag is my commitment as a coach. By 'committed' listener, I mean that I am totally focused on the person I am coaching. Said another way, I stand for their commitments. I hold the possibility that they are, just as when I hold my granddaughter, I am not just committed to who she is today, but also to the person she will become in the future. It is the same with a coaching relationship; I must be ready and able to make such a commitment to be a coach for them. On the other hand, when I cannot see a larger possibility for someone than they can see for themselves, I cannot serve them as a coach.

The final element is to 'listen'. As a coach, this means listening for many things - for what is being said and for what is missing. I listen for the stories to understand the assessments and experiences that may limit the coachees' ability to achieve their commitments. I listen for the coachees' requests and promises that signal action. And I listen for the declarations and possibilities through which the coachees create and recreate themselves.

So, in closing, a key element of coaching is to be a committed listener - one who listens for what is present and what is missing, listening with not just with the ear, but with head and heart. Of course, this is not all a coach does. However, if committed listening is missing, in my view the rest will be of little consequence.